joys of fresh

Well, it actually happened! There are 4 days left in the countdown to our flight and we’re delighted and relieved to find that our return to Mexico is fiiiiinally underway. We’re back in the game, baby!

We are so, so ready to get on that plane. Of course we love our homeland and the many people in it who are special to us, but this UK trip was meant to be one month or so and has turned out to be five. That’s a long time to be suspended in open-ended limbo.

A few people have asked us if it has felt like a holiday. I can see where they’re coming from, seeing as we aren’t at work in the conventional sense, and have been to some nice places.

However blog writing, I find, requires a balance between being positive and being honest. Nobody wants to read a long list of complaints, I’m sure. I could skip the truth here because it sounds quite negative. But on the other hand, if you’re not going to be real, is there much point sharing at all? So in the interests of authentic writing, I will be up front.

Has it felt like a holiday? Definitely not.

While there have been some lovely moments and as always, there is so much to be thankful for, overall it has felt like a real slog. It has been a big bonus to spend extra time with people here and there, but that hasn’t made the day to day any easier. A holiday is a choice, a plan, and above all intended for leisure purposes. We chose some of the things that have led to this strange season, but we certainly didn’t choose them all. Even during our 2 stays in holiday caravans, this was not a holiday, it was pure survival. There was nowhere else to go.

Any semblance of normal life was put abruptly on hold after Matt’s diagnosis, with all its usual sense of purpose, activity, routine and social elements on hold too. In its place came an indefinite waiting period, punctuated only by hospital appointments and the chaos at the beginning and end of each place to stay. Every day we’ve woken up to the reality that we’re not where we wanted to be or doing what we wanted to be doing, and instead there’s nothing much to do, nowhere much to go, a very limited budget, and no knowing when it would end. Our male family members in particular really struggle with occupying themselves in shapeless empty days, with no purpose or plan in them, and they’ve had to just man up and make the best of it over and over again. We’ve done our best, but on the whole it has been a juggling act, a wrestling match, a tense, protracted struggle.

It’s stressful not having a permanent home, not knowing where you’re going to stay next or how you’ll afford it, and while it might sound a touch dramatic, it has genuinely felt like we were only a step or two ahead of destitution and disaster throughout. Dealing with this tension as well as cancer, and visa stress, and homeschooling, and big questions over our return to Mexico as well as all the usual struggles of family life has felt like a lot. Not my idea of a holiday!

It’s really tiring going through the same accommodation cycle over and over again. Arrive, unpack, learn the rules, work it all out, manage living, pack bags, load car, clean up, travel…and repeat. It leaves one frazzled. We can’t remember where we’ve been. “Where did we read that llama book?” someone will ask. Or “which place was it that had that sunshine picture on the wall?” We scratch our heads and discuss it at length, but we’re never entirely sure.

Perhaps that’s because there are so many potential answers. We have now done this a neat total of 20 times since we arrived in March. 20 different places to stay. 20 different beds. 20 different times of working out if there’s a cheese grater in this place or which way to turn towards the fridge or how to get back to bed from the bathroom in the night. Wearily reminding ourselves we’re lucky to have cheese, and a fridge, and a bed. We are.

We’ve done over 6,000 road miles in the past 5 months in 15 long-distance car journeys and many more short distance ones. Some of them hot, some of them cold, all of them cramped and heavily loaded! There were ample opportunities to argue over who sits next to ‘the good window’, and groan at traffic delays and be so incredibly glad that we kept the car.

So, while we’ve tried hard to remember the positives every day – and there really have been so many – we have been a bit distracted by just how all-consuming it’s all been, by the general business of just managing. We’ve got really tired. We’re not functioning properly. If you’ve had any contact with us in July or August, I’ll apologise now for how we might have come across!

It takes a fair amount of logistical wrangling to get everything sorted for the next place each time a move is imminent, but now that we’ve made it through that for the last time, we’ve got the headspace at last to look back and wonder. It is an actual miracle that it has all worked out. We had no accommodation planned for this unexpected 4 month trip extension, and yet somehow, through the great kindness of friends and family, we’ve been provided for every single day. We haven’t missed one meal. We’ve even squeezed in several extras, as our waistlines can testify! While it was tough, we do feel incredibly lucky to have been looked after so very well.

And so we just want to stop for a moment and appreciate it.

For the the past 5 months, we have literally lived off the generosity of other people. Many, many people have given and continue to give us their money. It’s so humbling and so encouraging all at once. Thank you all so much! Your financial support makes such a big difference, literally enabling us to carry on with our lives – to eat, drink, wash, and wear clothes, to drive when we need to and to educate our kids. We’re so grateful that our needs have been met up to now. And we promise you that as soon as we’re able to we’ll get back to our focus on the needs of those worse off than us; serving them in their homelessness, their destitution, their unexpectedly difficult seasons.

A special thank you to the 24 individuals, couples and families who give to us on a monthly basis. Your faithfulness and generosity is a massive, massive blessing, and means that we can plan ahead and have some regularity in this slightly crazy way of life. We so appreciate you!

We needed our monthly income to increase for our life to be sustainable as well as for money to come in for one-off costs, and we’ve seen a lot of answers to those prayers. We’re not fully funded yet, but we’re definitely moving in the right direction. Praising God for you guys!

But here in this funny old season back on British soil, we’ve received generosity that has gone further still than money given, spilling out into tangible, in-person expressions, a glorious multicolour spectrum of different ways that we’ve been loved.

Our first month saw a pre-scheduled tour of the UK. We got off the plane into the chilly March air and took public transport to the home of a friend’s Uncle Robert, who lives conveniently near the airport and whose drive was very kindly temporarily hosting our car. Despite us never having met Uncle Robert before, he invited us in, gave us British tea and proper KitKats (no offence, Mexico) and warm, wise conversation in his beautiful home. We liked him immediately.

Our car was waiting for us when we’d finished our refreshments, and was looking better than it had ever looked before thanks to the caring ministrations of Uncle Robert’s nephew – our good friend Ben Tucker who had collected it from the London area when we left in September, driven it to his home in Devon, worked his magic on it, and then delivered it back again in much better condition 6 months later. When people ask how we’ve managed to still have a car at this point and we subsequently explain about Ben, they often stare at us and say ‘Wow! I wish I had friends like that!’. You know what? I wish you did too.

That welcome pretty much set the tone for the whole visit. The first month was a busy but lovely tour of friends, family, churches and towns, with a final (but futile) stop at the Mexican embassy.

After Matt’s diagnosis, when it was clear we’d be staying around a lot longer than planned, we really didn’t know where on earth we were going to live. It was tempting to panic. Holiday or short term accommodation tends to be much more expensive than normal residential rent, but without knowing how long we’d be here, and without jobs to reassure a landlord, a normal tenancy wasn’t an option. We knew we couldn’t afford to pay for holiday accommodation for months on end. Our recent overseas stay plus lack of a residential address in the UK meant that we seemingly fell through the gaps of several services we’d normally rely on in a crisis. We’ve kept our basic rented home in Mexico still full of all our things, fully intending to return – which is a massive plus now that we are returning – but obviously has meant that we’ve had to pay the rent and bills throughout to maintain it as well as getting by on this side of the pond. Would we even qualify if we went to the Council to declare ourselves homeless, we wondered? Visions of grim B&Bs rose in our minds. Happily, before we’d really got to considering that, other options began to appear.

The Lettington family in Kemsing, Kent, were the first to host us after Matt’s cancer news broke and everything became even more uncertain than it was before. They were the perfect family to be with in such a time; prayerful, real, so keen to help, and eminently understanding – even when I permanently tea-stained their wall with that speedy flight down their stairs! Sorry guys!

Once we’d made our way back to Edinburgh, more options opened up there. A big part of that was due to the behind-the-scenes efforts of key figures in our Scottish church family, Oxgangs Community Church. They’ve always been a crowd with a soft spot for those in trouble, and we’ve now benefitted from that trait many times. It’s hard to describe how it feels to be loved by an entire community of people at the same time, but in summary; it’s blooming brilliant!

Thanks to OCC, we were soon invited to stay by Chris and Joan Mackel, who we’d not met before. It takes a lot to host a family of 5 big, noisy people who eat a lot, and we’re really grateful to everyone who did that for us. To invite in complete strangers is a whole new level! We know it means work and effort and cost to host, to clean and tidy and make up beds and plan meals, to go shopping, and cook, and serve, and wash up, to explain and talk and entertain. To sacrifice your usual peace and space and turn a deaf ear to the noise, and be together in quite an intense way, often after months of not being together at all. We have truly appreciated it, from friends and family alike. Our hosts have spanned the country and touched our hearts: thank you so much to the Hassons in Edinburgh, the Mussons in Newcastleton, the Websters in Macclesfield, the Lettingtons in Kemsing, the Mackels in Edinburgh, the Hassons again and the Websters again! We so appreciate you, and we hope to return the favour anytime you want to come to Mexico! We’ll put the kettle on, eh?

Thanks in large part to Aaron at OCC, church leader and all-round amazing WonderMan, after Chris and Joan’s we were invited to stay in a self-contained apartment that was part of a bigger family home in the Pentland hills on the outskirts of Edinburgh. Green, peaceful and spacious, it was the perfect place for a weak, sore but defiant Matt to recover from his operation and for us to gather ourselves and rest for a whole delicious month. OCC supplied us with home-cooked meals in the early post-op days and we felt utterly wrapped up in love and care. One lovely friend even paid for Matt and I to go out on a date together once he was feeling better – AND she babysat the kids! I know, I wish you had friends like that too.

The home of Roy, Hannah, Joel and Matt Hasson in Gilmerton, Edinburgh has become a really special place to our family, and one that we’ve returned to many times, thanks to their unrelenting kindness as hosts. We feel so incredibly comfortable there, at home, at ease and wrapped up in the thoughtful care of a truly special family. Love, laughter, prayer, sound advice, understanding and great food is a winning combination – not to mention a pool table, a trampoline and two little dogs all especially loved by the kids – and a loft above the garage that’s still patiently hosting a good number of our storage boxes!

While Matt was zipping up and down the country to attend medical appointments in early May, the kids and I stayed in an empty house offered to us by another kind family we’ve never even met. The Hamilton family in Bromley, arranged through an organisation called CHACS (Christian House and Church Swap – a great find for a budget holiday for churchgoers https://www.chacs.co.uk), offered their home to us when they went on holiday and it was a perfect place to stop for a bit and process the news as we stroked their cute cat, Oreo. Their generosity in opening their home to complete strangers really moved us.

It’s an amazing gift to lend someone your house when you’re not in it. How incredibly open-handed, trusting and courageously generous it is to let someone into the most private places of your home unattended – to eat at your table, wash in your bathroom and sleep in your bed; entrusting your favourite things, your most valuable assets as well as the entire fabric and security of your home to their care. And yet we have been blessed no less than six times by exactly this and have received quite a few more kind offers that we couldn’t accept too. After the Hamilton family home in Bromley, there was the Jackson family home in Darlington, Paul and Tracy Gill’s house in Newcastleton, the Giles family home in Edinburgh, the Lee family home also in Edinburgh, and finally, gratefully the Graham family home in Hailsham, East Sussex. Beautiful homes, and even more beautiful people. Thank you all so very much!

Thank you to my lovely sister and bro-in-law Liz and Jamie plus wonderful nieces and nephew for making space to see us and for always showing such love, grace and understanding to us. Thank you too for the tedious but very helpful task of handling our mail. You’re absolute diamonds! Thanks to Aunty Janet for a very civilised lunch at short notice, and for championing us so faithfully within your church. Thanks to Dave, Rachel and kids for making a crazy drive to Oxford from South Wales so we could have a few precious hours together. Your like-mindedness and tender hearts are a blessing to us! Thanks to Nanny and Grandad Townsend for our week together in a caravan park in North Wales, a definite bonus of our overstay as we’d have missed you altogether if we’d left when we planned to. Thanks to Nana Pam and Paul for hosting us not once but twice, and for always being so generous. Thanks to Grandad Steve and Judy for multiple meals, chat and entertaining toys, often at short notice too. Thanks for all the toys, Luke! Thanks to the Mussons for being like family to us even though we’re not blood related. Your welcome and hospitality always makes your house feel like home to us, and that is a rare thing these days!

A special thank you to our Support Group, a hand-selected cluster of 8 amazing people who are like an informal board of trustees for our mission life, and help us out with their prayers, listening ears and wise advice. I won’t name you in case you don’t want to be named, but we’re so very grateful for your love, wisdom and back up. We appreciate you standing with us more than we can express. Muchísimas gracias!

To the very generous friend who paid for two of our kids to attend Christian camps, thank you so much. It’s an investment in their souls, and those memories will be with them forever! (They’re still talking about them now.) To the wonderful youth at Hebron Evangelical Church, Carlisle, who raised some funds specifically to treat our own young people – thank you so much. What a lovely bunch you are!

So many people have given us delicious food, cake, perfect cups of tea and delightful conversation that there are waaaayyy too many to list here. Oliver Bennett’s stonking vegetable chilli, Beth Garrett’s amazing ice cream dessert and the phenomenal roast beef dinner followed by sticky toffee pudding at the Tuckers are highlights though! But we’ve appreciated every welcome, every chance for connection, every cuddle of delicious babies, every reshuffle of your diary to fit us in, every long drive out of your way to see us, every minute spent at a table together, every coffee in familiar beloved company, every phone call, every message, every opportunity to catch up – to see your face and hear your voice. It means a great deal to us when people show interest in us and particularly in what we’re doing in Mexico, when you listen to our hearts and share your lives and stories too. Thank you, thank you all.

It’s quite incredible now to look back and realise we’ve only actually paid the going rate for accommodation for 7 nights out of the past 140. I’m not quite sure how that happened! It certainly wasn’t our doing but it has kept us well away from that Council office. What an amazing continuous wave of ‘sofa surfing’ we’ve ridden – and we haven’t had to sleep on any sofas at all. We couldn’t have planned such a steady, well-timed stream of immensely good fortune, but somehow, everything has lined up exactly when we needed it to.

We don’t think it’s happened by mistake. To us, it’s fairly clear that there was an orchestrator behind all this. This was divine provision, pulled together from above. Heavenly care was delivered by the hands of many kind individuals willing to be part of the plan in their own different ways, each doing their own generous bit. It’s not only for us though, or only for now. This is a way of life for many, and the people who find themselves nearby bathe in the overflow of these beautiful souls living out their faith in practical ways. We count ourselves phenomenally fortunate to have so many friends, family members and even friendly contacts for whom vast generosity and radical hospitality is just another day at the office. It’s simply how they live. It’s a little taste of heaven on earth. It’s utterly stunning, and we are so very lucky to be loved like this.

So it’s been amazing, and incredible, and good. And it’s also been really tough going. One of the lessons of this season is that both those statements can be authentically true at the same time. Just because something is good doesn’t mean it’s easy or feels nice. Just because something’s hard doesn’t mean it’s bad.

And with that profound thought, I must leave you.

I’ve got a plane to catch.